There has been a piece I have been wanting to work on for a while now. Its nothing complex, a simple portrait. But behind the simplicity is something I have been grappling with for some time now. The moment when you don't know if you can believe your eyes or what your brain is telling you you're seeing or hearing. Hallucinations, divinity and the belief in heaven and hell after death.
When I was 15, I watched my mother die slowly in a hospital bed. As death drew closer, she became disoriented and would often express fear of unseen things – panicking as if she were a child. Ten years later I watched my Nana experience a similar end and a disruption in reality before dying... Looking up at the hospital ceiling and searching.
These moments stuck with me, one of the many things I have not been able to shake and often appearing in one for or another in works. That fear, and searching and hallucination all had manifested in this piece.
“And one day the mind leaps from imagination to hallucination, and the congregant hears God, sees God.” - Oliver Sacks from 'Hallucinations'